Haley
This skinny, 20-something sociopath ditched her boyfriend, stole his car, and headed out west to cause
trouble. She has a penchant for using guns to solve her problems, and although quick-tempered is fairly
carefree despite attracting trouble like a magnet. You might say she's a little stupid, but not to her
face, I mean, that would be suicide.
Bruno
Hailing from a lineage of gas station cowboys, the 30-something Bruno owns a store out
in the middle of nowhere (without gas pumps) and had spent his boring existence there until he was robbed
and kidnapped by Haley. Like any good straight man, he's pretty quick to point out other peoples' flaws
or make snide jokes at their expense, and most of the time his expression is pretty deadpan.
Elegeia Santos
Daughter of a shady casino swindler, this token bisexual goth girl uses her fortune to seduce Haley and
somehow ends up as the third wheel in the cast for some time. She's somewhat lazy and egocentric and doesn't
really contribute much, simply content to go along with Haley's crazy schemes.
merv
The monosyllabic mascot marvel, this pork-addicted psychopath was the first hitchhiker Haley picked up.
He mostly goes off on his own, but has crossed paths with the main cast several times. His trademark
scowl seems frozen on his face, but it could be said that his smiles are even more disturbing.
Worm
The second hitchhiker that gets picked up gets shot in the head and is later revived by nuclear waste.
His attention span and memory are comparable to, well, a worm's.. so although he manages to form an
undead army of roadkill as he wanders the desert, he doesn't do a very good job of organizing or leading them.
Natasha 'Tash' Feldman
She gets introduced later on but becomes somewhat of a 'fourth' to the cast after their incident in Seattle.
While appearing fairly competent and intelligent, she comes off as a bit of a pessimist and doesn't like
interacting socially. She's also a part-time nurse and has become generally desensitized and jaded.
Julia Feldman
Julia left her apartment to Tash when she headed south into the American desert on her motorcycle.
While claiming to be a surgeon, she is noticeably incompetent. She detests violence and guns, and
occasionally partakes in experiments with hallucinogenic drugs.
Marcus Feldman
After his brother was murdered by Juan Santos over a debt, Marcus became a vigilante with the sole mission of
avenging him. He seems to have a high tolerance for pain and a deal of knowledge about firearms. Yes, he is
related to the other Feldmans.
the shotgun-toting chipmunk
Serving as a comedic foil as well as a cute fuzzy talking animal, the chipmunk's goal is to kill Haley.
Every time he fails pitifully, he gets resurrected to try again later, and Haley adds another weapon to her
arsenal.
Floyd
Disguised as a janitor, this supergenius scientist works for a room full of guys in black suits at a table.
Unable to speak very well due to being forced to work in methane-rich environments, he is still able to
create a working time machine out of a cardboard box.
Sean, Marsh, and Claire
They appear in an offshoot story for a while. The manic-depressive Sean convinces his obnoxious
roommate to take a trip to Las Vegas, and they save Claire from her abusive father along the way.
Other Supporting Characters
Mrs. Henderson always finds herself being robbed at gunpoint. Haley's Ex goes insane with vengeance. Juan Santos tries to bargain his way out of being executed by Marcus. Reggie the Pig has a dramatic battle with merv. The Inbred Mechanic is part of the story arc that references the movie U-Turn. Linsy appears to be Haley's redneck twin sister. The Men In Black always have a crisis on their hands that may disrupt their golf game. Bot, the Bus With Legs tramples mini-Chinatown. Tay and Louie tangle with Haley. One of them survives, though. Car Surfer briefly appears and is initially confused for a ninja assassin.
